


Your Love Keeps Me Whole

by JoifulDreaming



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24791926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoifulDreaming/pseuds/JoifulDreaming
Summary: Why does Crowley look different from the other demons?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 131





	Your Love Keeps Me Whole

**Author's Note:**

> [Loosely based on this prompt.](https://goodomensprompts.tumblr.com/post/190124374786/alright-ineffable-bureaucracy-tribe-this-ones)

Crowley collapsed over Aziraphale, a sticky mass of sweaty skin and feathers. A welcomed sticky mass of sweat and feathers. And he was going to show him how welcomed just as soon as his arms started working again.

"I've been thinking," the words were out before he could stop them, which was an increasing problem the more time he spent with Crowley- now that he had the space to question some things, he was questioning a lot of things and he had lost a lot of his verbal filters, "Though I'm not sure I should ask."

Crowley lifted his head slowly and pushed his damp hair off his forehead, blinking up at Aziraphale a little blankly.

"It can wait. Or, well, I could just keep it to myself. It's not terribly important, really."

"Not a minute ago, you were beyond words."

"Now, that's not accurate."

"I had you mewling like a kitten, don't you dare deny it, Angel." Crowley had crossed his arms over Aziraphale's chest with his chin resting on them.

"Mewling, really."

"Ask me."

"It's not important."

"It's important to me."

"Hmm." Instead of asking, the angel busied himself with tucking a lock of red hair behind Crowley's ear, fingers lingering there.

"No, nope, nuh-uh," Crowley grasped those fingers and kissed them gently before holding them in his own, "you're not going to distract me. I'm curious now and you know I won't let it go until that curiosity is sated."

"I just wonder," the angel paused, lips flattening into a line as he pondered, "the other demons…"

Crowley swallowed, but motioned for him to get out with it.

"Well, you're different from them."

"Understatement of the millennia."

"I mean, well, they weren't… they weren't as human-looking as you."

Crowley blinked at him.

"Even at the airfield. I might think, maybe, that you look less-"

"Gross?"

"Demonic?"

"Gross."

Aziraphale huffed and frowned deeply.

"Fine. Not gross."

"I might think it's because you're on earth and they spend most of their time in Hell… But that's not it, is it?"

"Are you asking why I don't have a snake on my head?"

"I wasn't going to put such a fine point on it, dear."

"s'alright, though. Would it bother you if I did?" Crowley had averted his eyes.

"Of course not, it would be a part of you."

Crowley made a non-committal noise and Aziraphale took his chin in his hand.

"Are you hiding a snake from me, Crowley?"

At that Crowley started to laugh. Not a little laugh, but a deep belly laugh that morphed into what could only be described as a high pitch giggle the longer that Aziraphale stared at him. He had tears streaming down his face before he finally got himself under control again.

"You," he sniffed and snickered, "you asking me if I'm happy to see you or if I have a snake in my pants, Angel?"

"You're not even wearing pants!"

"True," Crowley's face slipped from amusement to thoughtfulness, "I have a theory. Don't know if it's true." He rested his head on his arms, peering up at Aziraphale.

"What's your theory?"

"Love."

"What about it?"

"I think it's what keeps me from rotting."

"The fact that you love others keeps you from looking more demonic? I suppose that could be the case…"

"No. I think any demon can love. I think it's that I _am_ loved."

Aziraphale cocked his head to the side and studied him.

“Angels are meant to be the heavenly host- they’re meant to commune with God Herself. To feel Her love.”

“I follow you so far.”

“Demons are cast out of Heaven for the rest of time. We’re separated from Her love. It may or may not be true that She loves us, still. But, we can’t feel it. It’s as if it doesn’t exit.”

A shadow of sadness passed over Aziraphale’s face and Crowley squeezed his hand.

“It’s alright, really. Well, for me. See, I had someone else come along pretty quickly and care for me. My fellow demons we’re so lucky.”

“Who could replace the love of God?”

“You, I think.”

“But, I wasn’t in love with you that quickly.” He looked guilty just saying it.

“No, but you cared about what happened to me. You cared about everyone then. The first humans and me.”

“That’s true.”

“I mean, I didn’t exactly notice I was different at first. We all looked pretty well the same. But, over time they started to rot. They got the companions on their heads. And I… I didn’t.”

“Did the other demons notice?”

“Well, yeah, after a while. I got pushed around a bit for being pretty every time I went downstairs. Which is why I avoided it if I could.”

Aziraphale knew that there was a lot to unpack in the phrase “pushed around,” but decided to let it slide for now. He squeezed Crowley’s hand and reached with his other hand to stroke his hair.

“You are beautiful.”

“Whatever,” Crowley scoffed, but his cheeks blushed a bright pink color that spread deliciously down his neck as Aziraphale watched, “I don’t remember exactly when the thought occurred to me, but it fit as well as anything. None of the other demons had guardian angels. And, it… Well, it took the sting out of any time you sent me away. I would check the mirror and I would know you didn’t really mean it.”

“I never wanted to be away from you. Not even in the beginning.”

“I know. You needed time to come around to things on your own. But, all the same, it was good to Know while I waited.”

“So you can’t feel my love?”

“Not the way you can, no. But, that was never my thing anyway. Even before.”

“But you believe it to be there.”

“I don’t have any reason to believe otherwise.”

“Crowley, that sounds something like Faith.”

“Faith based on my best understanding of the evidence.” Crowley nodded, a stern look on his face.

“Really?”

“Oh, Angel, you know… if I was to put my faith in anything, it would be you. Your love keeps me whole.”

Aziraphale struggled to keep his emotions at bay, but failed to keep his eyes from growing round and glassy. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Crowley’s forehead.

“I would gladly have you in any form, love, but I’m happy to hold you like you are.”

Crowley hummed happily and closed his eyes and Aziraphale lay back, continuing to card his fingers through his hair. Both, drifting peacefully.


End file.
